Rev. Dr. A. A. Obe (JP)
July 31, 2022
OVERCOMING THE POWER OF SHAME AND DISGRACE.
TOPIC: OVERCOMING THE POWER OF SHAME & DISGRACE
Text: Psalm 31:17; Psalm 25:1-3; Isaiah 50:7; Romans 10:11
Psalm 31:17: 17 Let me not be ashamed, O Lord; for I have called upon thee: let the wicked be ashamed, and let them be silent in the grave.
18 Let the lying lips be put to silence; which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous.
19 Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!
Psalm 25:1-3: 25 Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
2 O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.
3 Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.
Isaiah 50:7: 7 For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.
Romans 10:11: 11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.
1. Shame can be defined as a feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that arises in relation to the perception of having done something dishonourable, immoral, or improper.
2. Shame is the feeling that we are a mistake. That we are inadequate and insufficient as a person. It is about our being; it is about who we are.
3. Shame a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour.
1. The loss of respect, honour, or esteem; ignominy; shame.
2. A person, act, or thing that causes shame, reproach, or dishonour or is dishonourable or shameful.
3. The state of being out of favour; exclusion from favour, confidence, or trust.
Shame and disgrace are a negative force that disorganizes the state of one’s emotion. It has the potential to disappoint people and can often lead to anxiety, depression and self-esteem. It is also a painful feeling that comes with regret, humiliation and dishonour. The experience of shame and disgrace can be deeply unpleasant. And if not managed it can lead to one committing suicide.
THINGS TO NOTE (VERY IMPORTANT):
1. The Bible makes us to understand that shame can come from God. God might decide to put a man to shame as a result of sin. For example, God puts Adam and Eve to a season of shame and disgrace as a result of their disobedience.
2. Likewise, the devil can judge a person and declare him guilty even when he is not, in order to put him to shame.
3. Shame and disgrace can tarnish the reputation of a person.
4. The terrible thing about it is that it affects people from the inside and destroys them internally.
5. It could eat away the strength and the confidence of a person.
6. It can disable and amputate a person completely and make him ineffective in the service of the Lord.
7. There are times when you feel shameful because of the spirit of rejection.
WHAT TO OBSERVE WHEN ONE CARRIES SHAME AND DISGRACE:
1. Feeling sensitive
2. Feeling unappreciated
3. Feeling used
4. Feeling rejected
5. Worrying that you are not treated with respect.
6. Feeling like others take advantage of you
7. Being afraid to look inappropriate or stupid
8. Losing your identity
9. Feeling dishonourable.
CAUSES OF SHAME AND DISGRACE
Are you wondering about the different causes of shame and disgrace? There are a variety of potential causes of the different types of shame and disgrace, some that are transient and others that might have originated in childhood.
In addition, sometimes mental health concerns can create shame and disgrace in and of themselves. Bellow are potential causes of shame and disgrace
1. Childhood trauma or neglect
2. Any mental health disorder that involves self-criticism or judgment (e.g., social anxiety disorder).
3. Not living up to overly high standards that you set for yourself
4. Feeling as though your flaws or inadequacy will be revealed
5. Being the victim of bullying
6. Expectations not being met or experiencing failure
7. Rejection from others or a weakening of a relationship
STEPS TO OVERCOME SHAME:
Step 1: Admitting we are powerless takes the power away from shame. Since a defence against exposure of our shame is controlling behaviour, admitting we are powerless negates that defence. This is very different from helplessness. When I am helpless, I have no power, and no hope. When I admit powerlessness, I gain the freedom of choice. I regain my power in an act of surrender.
Step 2: Believing that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity helps to reduce shame by helping us to look outward for help. Shame is very isolating. We believe that we are beyond hope. We are focused only on ourselves. Turning our attention outward helps us to rely on a power that is greater than us to help us heal.
Step 3: Turning our will and our life over helps us to not have to do this alone. If we could heal our shame alone, we wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place. It has isolated us and now we need to learn to trust in others and that Power greater than us.
Again, shame and spirituality cannot exist at the same time. One cancels the other out.
Step 4: Making a searching and fearless moral inventory can be tricky. We may be tempted to sink back into shame as we recount all the things we’ve done that seem to reinforce the shame messages of our past. It is important to expose each item, no matter how dark and deep, so that we can bring it out and deal with it. Shame thrives on secrecy. This Step is not about beating ourselves up, it is about getting everything out in the open so we can heal. Think of it as emotional surgery; we have to open everything up before we can operate on it.
Step 5: Admitting to God, ourselves, and another person takes the shame that is inside of us and puts it on the outside to expose it to the light where it cannot survive. We can actually be free of the shame when we do this.
Steps 6 and 7: These are important to “tie up” the experience and allow your higher power to take the shame and you can get a fresh start. Only then will you be ready to go to others to make amends without shaming yourself. Acknowledging our shortcomings actually makes us more approachable, lovable, and real. Our brokenness ends up being the very thing that connects us to and helps others.
CONCLUSION/ PRAYER POINTS:
1. Father Lord, organize my life to destroy the works of darkness, in the name of Jesus.
2. I refuse to be disgraced by any power living or dead, in the name of Jesus.
3. Thou powers waiting to put me to shame a on the day of my glory die, in Jesus name.
4. Blood of Jesus silence every mocker of my destiny, in the name of Jesus.
5. Thou enemy that determined to mock my God and my prayer life, today, be frustrated, in Jesus name.
6. I decree, whether the devil likes it or not, I shall sing my song of restoration, in the name of Jesus.
7. My Father, cause my heavens to open unto me, in the name of Jesus.
8. Thou Garment of shame and disgrace from the ancestral evil powers of my father’s house that is upon me, catch fire, in the name of Jesus.
9. By the grace of God, my problems shall lead to good news, in the name of Jesus.
10. Thou wicked power disgracing people in my family you shall not hold me to ransom, in the name of Jesus.
11. All those that promised to help me shall fulfil it from today, in the name of Jesus.
12. Oh God arise and visit my case that seems impossible, in the name of Jesus.
13. Every good thing the spirit of shame and disgrace had taken away from me, come back to me, in the name of Jesus.
14. In the presence of my enemies, Oh God arise and put laughter in my mouth, in the name of Jesus.
15. Every power that wants me to end my life and destiny in shame and disgrace, die and be roasted, in Jesus name.
16. Father, look into my situation and heal me from this sorrowful problem, in the name of Jesus.
17. Every area of my life that shame and disgrace had delayed, fire of God chase away the spirit from me today, in the name of Jesus.
18. Thou curse that is making me to see my mate doing great things and I will be hiding my face, today, I break you stubborn curses, in Jesus mighty name.
19. Oh joy of the Lord, I am available, possess me and make me a happy person from today, in the name of Jesus.
20. Lord Jesus, remove the spirit of shame and reproach that have made me hopeless in life, in the name of Jesus.
21. Today, I receive victory from every shame and disgrace, by the blood of Jesus
Rev. Dr. A.A Obe